Today I heard a phrase that is all too familiar to me; I grew up hearing it at least weekly. You probably have heard it or some variation of it, you have possibly used it with your own kids... most of the people who say it do so in the most innocent of ways. They don't want their children to repeat some embarrassing story or word that they might have heard come from their upstanding parent's mouth. But today, when I heard the phrase being spoken to a little girl by her dad, I felt a twinge in my heart...
"What happens at home, stays at home". It seems perfectly innocent doesn't it? What happens in our home is our business, we don't need to spread it to the neighborhood. No need to tell everyone that the marriage counselor had a fight with his wife, the pastor said a nasty word, grandma drank too much eggnog... we all have our family secrets or embarrassing moments that we would rather our 3 year old didn't blurt out on the playground or in front of his grandparents, or for the entire church. But for a moment, think deeper with me about why this phrase might not be as innocent as it seems and what implications it might have on us and our children.
What happens at home, stays at home. What is going on at home that needs to be hidden from the world? Is your child being abused? Are they going hungry? Are they being bullied by a sibling? Is dad yelling at mom? Is the whole family pretending to be perfect Christians on Sunday but living completely fruitless lives the other 167 hours in the week? What is it that needs to stay at home?
Telling your child that what happens at home, stays at home may put fear in their hearts and isolate them from others. They will possibly grow up thinking they can't trust others and that they cannot seek the help that they might need.
The deeper spiritual implications is that we are in essence telling our children to lie or hide the truth. I think the question we should ask ourselves is, what am I trying to hide? What do I need to change? What is it about my life that I don't want others to know?
Instead of telling our children that what happens at home stays at home, maybe we could be more careful about what happens at home. Perhaps we could lives that are pleasing to the Lord and full of His Word and Spirit. Maybe then there will be nothing to hide. Are we going to fail? Sure we are... the Word tells that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God but that if we believe in Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us. Isn't that a more beautiful story, a greater legacy for our children. Instead of telling them to hide who we are and what we do, we can instead teach them to live with integrity and authenticity, ultimately pointing to the perfect God we serve.
"What happens at home, stays at home". It seems perfectly innocent doesn't it? What happens in our home is our business, we don't need to spread it to the neighborhood. No need to tell everyone that the marriage counselor had a fight with his wife, the pastor said a nasty word, grandma drank too much eggnog... we all have our family secrets or embarrassing moments that we would rather our 3 year old didn't blurt out on the playground or in front of his grandparents, or for the entire church. But for a moment, think deeper with me about why this phrase might not be as innocent as it seems and what implications it might have on us and our children.
What happens at home, stays at home. What is going on at home that needs to be hidden from the world? Is your child being abused? Are they going hungry? Are they being bullied by a sibling? Is dad yelling at mom? Is the whole family pretending to be perfect Christians on Sunday but living completely fruitless lives the other 167 hours in the week? What is it that needs to stay at home?
Telling your child that what happens at home, stays at home may put fear in their hearts and isolate them from others. They will possibly grow up thinking they can't trust others and that they cannot seek the help that they might need.
The deeper spiritual implications is that we are in essence telling our children to lie or hide the truth. I think the question we should ask ourselves is, what am I trying to hide? What do I need to change? What is it about my life that I don't want others to know?
Instead of telling our children that what happens at home stays at home, maybe we could be more careful about what happens at home. Perhaps we could lives that are pleasing to the Lord and full of His Word and Spirit. Maybe then there will be nothing to hide. Are we going to fail? Sure we are... the Word tells that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God but that if we believe in Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us. Isn't that a more beautiful story, a greater legacy for our children. Instead of telling them to hide who we are and what we do, we can instead teach them to live with integrity and authenticity, ultimately pointing to the perfect God we serve.
Absolutely agree Amen Katie great words of wisdom.
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