Over the past few weeks I have had the incredible opportunity of leading a group of about 30 ladies through a Bible Study on Tuesday nights and I have really enjoyed digging into the depth of scripture with them as we "open our bibles". One of the lessons this week struck a very deep chord in my heart and inspired this post... the author posed this statement:
"Most of my life I assumed that being a good christian was the goal; doing, or appearing to do all the right things, keeping sin at bay or at least out of the light. I mistook the narrow road of Matthew 7:14 as the path of least spiritual resistance. Yet, as we travel through the pages of Scripture and grow in the knowledge of God, we find our need for the gospel does not magically become smaller, instead, we more clearly see the enormity of our need. " (and here is the part that started my mind and heart down a thoughtful and prayerful path) "OUR SALVATION IS AN ORDER SO TALL ONLY CHRIST'S PERFECTION CAN MEASURE UP, A GAP SO LARGE ONLY HIS MERCY CAN FILL".
The author then posed the question: "what do you perceive as a 'good Christian'?".
hmmmm...
My idea of a good Christian is not so much a list of things to do right and things to steer clear of but rather it is the image of a person I know, a few people actually, but one in particular that I will stick with in this post as she relates so closely to my story this week. More on her in a moment...
So, there I was, it was Saturday morning and I had the bright idea that taking all three of my children to the grocery store would be a good and easy task. After all, their Daddy was very busy preparing for the funeral of a dear church member who passed away earlier in the week, we had no food in the house, and there was no one I could think to call for backup. So, we had breakfast and went to the grocery store... the grocery store experience went very WELL, so well in fact that I decided to conquer Target as well!! It was in Target when things began to slowly unravel, the shopping cart was not big enough for the 2 littles, the big boy was distracted by the "I wants", and the store only had one checkout line open. Somehow we managed to make it through the Target experience without any major meltdown and since the big guy had done so well, I even said, "yes", to the request for chocolate milk. Being the wise thinking, put together mother I decided to pick up some take and toss sippy cups to accompany the chocolate milk as to avoid any spills in the car and so that the toddlers wouldn't scream in desire as their brother enjoyed the milk; this way, they could have some too. I portioned the chocolate milk into the respective cups and we headed back to the car, everyone blissfully happy. AND then... as I am siting the drive thru of Chick Fil A waiting on the lunch that I plan to have them eat on the way home so that they will nap upon arrival while I get ready for the funeral, I hear "mommy, I spilt some chocolate milk". HOW? WHY? WHAT? I was so careful, "how did you spill your milk?" "I squeezed the cup"... of course you did. This is the moment that I wish I could go back to and channel my idea of a good christian and calm mother and respond lovingly, "that's okay sweetie, accidents happen" BUT I didn't react calmly. There was chocolate milk soaking my son's clothes and the back seat, that is when I preceded to yell and throw what I believed to be an empty cup, only to realize it wasn't empty and milk then got EVERYWHERE... not my finest moment. I then proceeded to yell at my son, yell at my friend, and yell at my husband all over (and yes I know how cliche this is) SPILLED MILK. I lost it and Saturday was NOT THE DAY to lose it. I am the pastor's wife... I am needed and expected to have it together and be on my game, especially on days like Saturday when our people are grieving... my husband needed a calm and collected woman by his side and that is not what he initially received.
My idea of a good Christian, is one of my best friends in the entire world. She has 4 beautiful daughters, she too is a pastor's wife, her house is always clean, her hair and makeup flawless, she is physically fit, and can quote scripture like it is a stream of living water coming right from her mouth. Yes, I know she struggles, I know she has her off days, and I know the perfection I ascribe to her is something she would laugh at BUT on my good days she is my role model and on my bad days she is a measuring stick that the enemy uses to tell me I do not and never will measure up.
You see, I try to do the right things, I try to say the right things, I try to wear all of my hats with grace and dignity but the truth is that sometimes, I fail. I'm human, I hurt the people I love, I let down those that count on me, and I sin more times than I care to count. I can not do it on my own... but here's the beautiful part, I'm not supposed to.
1 John 1: 5-10 says this "This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing truth. But if we are living in the light as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in truth. But if we confess our sin to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts."
Notice the scripture didn't say that if we walk with God we will have no sin, rather that our sin will be shown in the light and if we confess it, He is faithful to forgive... if we deny it, we call Him a liar and His word has no place in our hearts. We all have sin, it's why we need a savior, it's why Jesus came, it's why we celebrate this Holy week. The author of the Bible study also said, "only in seeing the depth of our sin can we know the unmatched grace and glory of the cross". WOW... only in seeing our sin, the depth of the sin that we have now or that God delivered us from can we truly know and appreciate and be thankful for the unmatched grace and glory of the cross. I heard a message this past Sunday night from two pastors, a husband and wife team whom I admire, she spoke with great conviction about remembrance during this week leading up to Easter. She talked about remembering Christ, remembering the sacrifice, remembering the reason... drawing from that inspiration, and from this Bible study, I am encouraged and would encourage you to look toward the cross and remember that without our humanity, without our sin, without our failures, there would have been no need for Christ. He came, died, and rose out of love to fill the gap that we cannot fill in our humanness. I am not saying it is okay to willfully sin and say "oh it's okay to live how I want, God will forgive me"... quite the contrary... I am saying to cling to the cross, fix your eyes on Jesus, and bask in his overwhelming, awe-inspiring grace that makes it possible to live this life abundantly.
I pray that as Easter approaches, you will "fix your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and that the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace". I pray that for you if you have known Him for years and I pray that for you if you don't yet know Him... trust Him, trust His grace, trust His love, trust that He is bigger than any mistake or bad day... He is risen!
"Most of my life I assumed that being a good christian was the goal; doing, or appearing to do all the right things, keeping sin at bay or at least out of the light. I mistook the narrow road of Matthew 7:14 as the path of least spiritual resistance. Yet, as we travel through the pages of Scripture and grow in the knowledge of God, we find our need for the gospel does not magically become smaller, instead, we more clearly see the enormity of our need. " (and here is the part that started my mind and heart down a thoughtful and prayerful path) "OUR SALVATION IS AN ORDER SO TALL ONLY CHRIST'S PERFECTION CAN MEASURE UP, A GAP SO LARGE ONLY HIS MERCY CAN FILL".
The author then posed the question: "what do you perceive as a 'good Christian'?".
hmmmm...
My idea of a good Christian is not so much a list of things to do right and things to steer clear of but rather it is the image of a person I know, a few people actually, but one in particular that I will stick with in this post as she relates so closely to my story this week. More on her in a moment...
So, there I was, it was Saturday morning and I had the bright idea that taking all three of my children to the grocery store would be a good and easy task. After all, their Daddy was very busy preparing for the funeral of a dear church member who passed away earlier in the week, we had no food in the house, and there was no one I could think to call for backup. So, we had breakfast and went to the grocery store... the grocery store experience went very WELL, so well in fact that I decided to conquer Target as well!! It was in Target when things began to slowly unravel, the shopping cart was not big enough for the 2 littles, the big boy was distracted by the "I wants", and the store only had one checkout line open. Somehow we managed to make it through the Target experience without any major meltdown and since the big guy had done so well, I even said, "yes", to the request for chocolate milk. Being the wise thinking, put together mother I decided to pick up some take and toss sippy cups to accompany the chocolate milk as to avoid any spills in the car and so that the toddlers wouldn't scream in desire as their brother enjoyed the milk; this way, they could have some too. I portioned the chocolate milk into the respective cups and we headed back to the car, everyone blissfully happy. AND then... as I am siting the drive thru of Chick Fil A waiting on the lunch that I plan to have them eat on the way home so that they will nap upon arrival while I get ready for the funeral, I hear "mommy, I spilt some chocolate milk". HOW? WHY? WHAT? I was so careful, "how did you spill your milk?" "I squeezed the cup"... of course you did. This is the moment that I wish I could go back to and channel my idea of a good christian and calm mother and respond lovingly, "that's okay sweetie, accidents happen" BUT I didn't react calmly. There was chocolate milk soaking my son's clothes and the back seat, that is when I preceded to yell and throw what I believed to be an empty cup, only to realize it wasn't empty and milk then got EVERYWHERE... not my finest moment. I then proceeded to yell at my son, yell at my friend, and yell at my husband all over (and yes I know how cliche this is) SPILLED MILK. I lost it and Saturday was NOT THE DAY to lose it. I am the pastor's wife... I am needed and expected to have it together and be on my game, especially on days like Saturday when our people are grieving... my husband needed a calm and collected woman by his side and that is not what he initially received.
My idea of a good Christian, is one of my best friends in the entire world. She has 4 beautiful daughters, she too is a pastor's wife, her house is always clean, her hair and makeup flawless, she is physically fit, and can quote scripture like it is a stream of living water coming right from her mouth. Yes, I know she struggles, I know she has her off days, and I know the perfection I ascribe to her is something she would laugh at BUT on my good days she is my role model and on my bad days she is a measuring stick that the enemy uses to tell me I do not and never will measure up.
You see, I try to do the right things, I try to say the right things, I try to wear all of my hats with grace and dignity but the truth is that sometimes, I fail. I'm human, I hurt the people I love, I let down those that count on me, and I sin more times than I care to count. I can not do it on my own... but here's the beautiful part, I'm not supposed to.
1 John 1: 5-10 says this "This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing truth. But if we are living in the light as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in truth. But if we confess our sin to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts."
Notice the scripture didn't say that if we walk with God we will have no sin, rather that our sin will be shown in the light and if we confess it, He is faithful to forgive... if we deny it, we call Him a liar and His word has no place in our hearts. We all have sin, it's why we need a savior, it's why Jesus came, it's why we celebrate this Holy week. The author of the Bible study also said, "only in seeing the depth of our sin can we know the unmatched grace and glory of the cross". WOW... only in seeing our sin, the depth of the sin that we have now or that God delivered us from can we truly know and appreciate and be thankful for the unmatched grace and glory of the cross. I heard a message this past Sunday night from two pastors, a husband and wife team whom I admire, she spoke with great conviction about remembrance during this week leading up to Easter. She talked about remembering Christ, remembering the sacrifice, remembering the reason... drawing from that inspiration, and from this Bible study, I am encouraged and would encourage you to look toward the cross and remember that without our humanity, without our sin, without our failures, there would have been no need for Christ. He came, died, and rose out of love to fill the gap that we cannot fill in our humanness. I am not saying it is okay to willfully sin and say "oh it's okay to live how I want, God will forgive me"... quite the contrary... I am saying to cling to the cross, fix your eyes on Jesus, and bask in his overwhelming, awe-inspiring grace that makes it possible to live this life abundantly.
I pray that as Easter approaches, you will "fix your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and that the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace". I pray that for you if you have known Him for years and I pray that for you if you don't yet know Him... trust Him, trust His grace, trust His love, trust that He is bigger than any mistake or bad day... He is risen!
This was beyond amazing Katie! I so needed this. I can't tell you how many times I've done this with Kenzie and then felt horrible and wishing I could go back a few minutes with a level head. Thank you! Love you and miss you!
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